


Who am I kindding?

by Gloriette_deWentz5



Series: Glo's not-so-colorful Anventures [2]
Category: None - Fandom, original character - Fandom
Genre: I'm actually pretty angry, Message, Original work - Freeform, This is not actually a suicide note I'm just a bit tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-22 08:08:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8278868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gloriette_deWentz5/pseuds/Gloriette_deWentz5
Summary: I'm done.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not okay, I'm really not, and I need to blow off steam in some way, writing is the best I know, so I'll do it this way.  
> You don't really have to worry, tho, I'm not going to kill myself, it's true that I'm going through a really tough moment right now, but I don't go that far.  
> I just hope this helps me getting this stuff finally out, and if it helps you too, then it'll do much more and will actually have a meaning.  
> Thanks for reading.

I'm done, I'm tired. Life is utter shit. I'll never be good enough to do shit.

I'm sick of doing all the things to petend I'm alright, to make people believe I'm okay, 'cuz I'm not.

I didn't ask for this, and it is more than I can handle.

YES, life is suppossed to be tough, and one is suppossed to be tougher and have a strong personality, so that life doesn't swallow you at once; but maybe I just wasn't done for that, I'm not strong enough, I wasn't born to be strong enough and life is chewing me up.

And look at me, look at what I do, all day writing this stories of love and strenght getting over things, but actually, I'm doing worse than my characters themselves.

I'm nothing but a hypocryte, and it hurts me, because I wished life was a bit different, I wish I could have a story like theirs, where after all the pain, there's a little relief. But it doesn't come, and I all know is pain, and I don't know how to be strong like them to get over things.

I feel like life isn't worth the pain, I don't find any sense in it. There seems to be no way to stop this.

I'm not good enough and I don't feel like I can do things right.

People around me think I have all the abilities, but I've neve seen them. I feel like they expect something I cannot give, and I will just become a dissappointment.

I write about my heroes, my idols, the people I look up to and that have survived life in both the real world and my little stories; but it feels like I can't actually follow them, I can't do what they did, I can't learn and practice what they have tried to teach me. In some way, I've dissappointed them too.

I try to appear tough, and look like I understand life, and like I know how to overcome all problems, but in reality, it's just what I wish I could do, but have never been able to. I make my characters go through shit and get over it, and make them talk like the wisest, and all their advices and lessons are true and valuable, and they learn and grow; but have I done any of this myself? No. Because I can't, or because i don't want to, who knows? And who cares?

Maybe I'm just too used to this mindset to try and change it, maybe I'm afraid of changing. I'm just done, I'm a coward and I wish I didn't have to go through this.

I'll just go through another night, wishing the day won't come (which it always does, because life hates me, and everything I wish for will never come true.)

**Author's Note:**

> And please excuse the typos and stuff, I didn't really feel like paying attention to them.


End file.
